


Different as Night and Day

by TheRavenMocker



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Female Merlin (Merlin), Jealousy, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:21:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28416771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRavenMocker/pseuds/TheRavenMocker
Summary: Sometimes a person was just fated love someone and could nothing to stop it, no matter how hard they tried. Merlyn had to learn this the hard way. She knew Mordred's destiny and the tragedy he would bring to her life, but it did nothing to stop her feelings. Or his.
Relationships: Merlin/Mordred (Merlin)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 42





	1. The Beginning of the End

She remembered the first day she met him. The day started normal enough. Well as normal as Merlyn's life could be these days. She was just about to head to Arthur's room to tidy it up when she suddenly heard a scream. It sound like that of a young boy. She immediately stopped in her tracks and look back. She listen for a moment, trying to figure out what direction it came from, but she heard nothing. After a few minutes, she just told herself she imagined it and scurried off to continue her chores, but then she heard the boy again. This time his voice came to her as clear as day and she realized it was in her head, _"Help."_ It pleaded.

Merlyn quickly rushed off to find the source of the voice. She couldn't explain how, but she knew it had to be coming from the front entrance of the castle. She scanned the plaza carefully, then finally there he was, the young boy. He was a small thing then, slumped against a well and hiding under his green cloak. He looked no older than ten or eleven years. His hair was dark, almost black, and had a pair of blue eyes even more brilliant than her own. For a second the two just stared at one another, captivated. Merlyn felt almost as if something was tugging her towards him, but she didn't have much time to think on it once the castle guards arrived.

The boys eyes widen with fear as he pleaded in her mind again, _"Please, you have to help me. They're searching for me."_

 _"Why are they after you?"_ She asked back.

 _"They're going to kill me."_ He replied.

Against her better judgement, Merlyn nodded. There was no way she could leave such a defenseless boy to the knights. With great difficulty, she managed to guide the boy out of harm's way all the way to the east wing of the castle. While being chased by guards, she might add.

They couldn't make it to her quarters, but she was able to make it to Morgana's. If anyone other than Gaius would help them, it'd be her. The king's ward and her handmaiden, Gwen, took kindly to both her and the boy and hid them away.

Morgana agreed to take in the boy until Merlyn could find a way to get him out of Camelot. Unfortunately after the guards left, the boy had taken ill. He had a terrible cut to his side and from what she could tell, it was beginning to become infected.

Gaius later agreed to help the boy, and thanks to his expertise, he become well again and after a a couple days and one failed attempt, Merlyn was able to return the druid boy to his people. All with Arthur's help of course, surprising as that was to her.

The great dragon, kilgharrah, had warned her then of what the boy would become. She had not believed it then. He was such a small child, frightened, scrawny, and from what Merlyn could tell, innocent. How could he possibly bring Arthur's downfall? The very notion seemed silly. However, Kilgharrah would never make up something like that. She still had to heed her words.

Apart from that day, Merlyn only saw the young druid boy on two other occasions. Once only for a moment when she sent Morgana to the Druids and the other when he came back to the castle to find a crystal.

As long as Merlyn would live, she would never forget the last time she saw him. Arthur and the knights had followed after a band of druid renegades. The battle was horrible and bloody, but there was nothing she could do to change it. That's when she found Mordred again for the last time.

He was running away from the battle. Merlyn had saw him dashing off with his little green cape waving behind him. She followed after him, still feeling drawn. At first she was just going to make sure he got out of the fray safely, but then Kilgharrah's words rang back in the mind,

_"If the boy lives, you cannot fulfill your destiny."_

_"What are taking about? My destiny is to protect Arthur."_

_"And there you have your answer."_

_"What do you mean? Is the boy to one day kill Arthur?"_

_"That, my dear, is entirely up to you."_

He had to **die**.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw a few knights running after him. She knew what she had to do. With an outstretched hand, she drew her magic ready to trip the boy, but then she suddenly felt a sharp pain pierce through her heart. It was so painful that it made her gasp and tears starting running down her cheeks. She had no idea what was causing this. Sure she didn't feel good about trying to kill the boy, but it wasn't any reason to feel like this! She barely even knew him! He was destined to kill Arthur! Why would the thought of his death bring this much sorrow to her? It didn't make sense.

In her mind, she knew he needed to die. If he didn't, everything she ever worked for and loved would be destroyed. She told herself this over and over again, but she still, she couldn't do it. For whatever reason, every fiber of her being screamed at her not to. So with great reluctance, she let him go, triped the knights instead. Thus giving the young druid a clean getaway.

Once the boy saw this, he looked back and held her gaze. _"Thank you, Emrys. I will never forget this. I promise, one day I will repay your kindness."_ He vowed and then turned away and left.

Since then it has been many years since she last saw the young druid boy. On the rare occasion she thought of him, a part of her sometimes wished she could see him and know how he was doing. However, the greater part of her hope that would never happen. She feared if she were to see him again, Kilgharrah's warning would come to past and she would be forced to finish with what she could not all those years ago. She didn't want that to happen. Not ever.

No matter her feelings or desires.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading the prologue! If there are mistakes, I apologize. I don't got a beta. I hope it wasn't too bad and that some of you enjoyed it for the time being. This story will mainly take place during season five, but there are going to be quite a few differences in this story compared to the show.
> 
> Anyway sry its short, I'll make the next chapter longer.
> 
> Feel free to let me know what you think and thanks for reading!


	2. Nine years Later...

Several weeks ago, Sir Gwain led a group of knights off to Ismere, but it had been long since anyone has heard from them. So Arthur decided they should go take a few men and search for them themselves. Merlyn had protested, fearing something bad might happen, but Arthur's decision was final. He would bring reinforcements to go find them and rescue them if necessary.

It took nearly a week's travel, but they were getting close now. A few days ago, they had just left Annis's land. There Merlin's fears only became worse. She and Arthur learned that for sure Morgana had taken up residence at Ismere. Before it had only been rumor, but now it was confirmed.

Then not only that, but as they were traveling they came across a ruined druid village. Merlin had no idea what happened to the village, nor did she really care to know. The aftermath already gave her a pretty decent idea of how awful all their fates had been.

However it wasn't the village or the brutally butchered people there that were haunting her thoughts right then. It was the vision given to her by one lone druid just before he died in front of her. In it she saw the future she had been trying so hard to avoid. There was a great bloody battle with fire all around. Then right at the end of it, Arthur was killed by a man she did not recognize.

The man was almost as tall as Arthur with curly black-brown hair and steely blue eyes. He looked young, barely just out of boyhood from the look of him, but his eyes held an eerie darkness to them that no young man should ever have at his age. Just thinking back on it unnerved her.

At the moment they were resting for the night somewhere in the woods just west of Ismere. Merlyn couldn't bring herself to sleep with the recent vision still burning the inside of her eyelids. So instead she decided to grab some mead from Arthur's pack and hoped it would help calm her nerves. She sometimes did this when she was sure he wasn't looking, knowing full well how angry he'd be if he ever caught her.

She was only half way to his horse when she noticed she couldn't find any of the guards that were supposed to stay up and keep watch. There were supposed to be three of them and they were all supposed to stay nearby in the camp, but none of them were in sight. Merlin was just about to brush it off, thinking it was just too dark for her to see anything at that time of night. However, her tune changed when she starts to hear the wrestling of leaves around her, much more than just three knight were capable of.

She looked around for the slightest hint of where the sound might have come from. At first she found nothing and started to think perhaps some knights were playing a joke on her. Then suddenly something flew by her ear and land right in the tree next to her. Her blood ran cold.

It was an arrow.

At the top of her lungs, Merlin screamed, "We're under attack!" and used her magic to push back whatever was in the trees around her. She was confident it was too dark for anyone to see her.

The whole camp erupted into chaos as people came flying out of the woods around them. Merlyn nearly got shot again, but she managed to use her magic to knock it aside. She had to find Arthur. She'd be damned before she let him die in a mediocre raid like this.

She searched frantically for him until she heard, "Merlyn! Merlyn!" She looked back and saw him slashing through one cut throat to the other. "Damn it, Merlyn! Where are you?" He yelled.

"Arthur!" She screamed and thankfully it was loud enough to catch his attention. However it caught the attention of a few of the Saxon soldiers as well. One came at her sword in hand ready to slice her opened when suddenly, he tripped and fell on his face.

Merlyn stood for there for a second confused. There was nothing on the ground for the man to trip on, so why did he fall over? It didn't make sense. That is, until she felt a familiar pull tugging at her very core. She looked off to right and there at the edge of the battlefield stood a figure dressed in black. He was staring at her.

Her eyes widened. It was the blue eyed man from her horrid vision and unbelievably also the child she saved all those years ago. "Mordred..." She whispered.

"Hello Emrys." She herd his voice in her mind.

Merlyn froze. She couldn't believe it. After all these years, the one being she feared the most was standing right in front of her. She tried to command her limbs to move or to at least make some response, but nothing happened until suddenly she saw his face twist into terror.

"Emrys! Look out!" He screamed in her mind. That woke her up. She quickly spun around and saw another soldier coming at her with a mace. She managed get out of the way of his swing, but fell over and lost her footing in the process.

Vulnerable on the ground, the enemy soldier reared back to attack her again. She thought it was over for her, but then Arthur's came into view and blocked his attack. The king easily disarmed the man and ended him with a fatal blow to the chest. Once his was done, he angrily turned to her and pulled her to her feet. "Damn it, Merlyn! What the hell are you doing sitting on the ground like that for? Come on! We have to get out of here!" He gripped her by the arm and the two of them started to run. Merlyn looked back once to see if Mordred was still standing back there, but he wasn't.

She guessed she shouldn't have been surprised.


	3. Run

"Run!" Arthur screamed at his knights. They had to retreat. there was no way any of them stood a chance out in this fray. Merlin took Arthur's hand and the two dashed off as quick as they could. Merlyn could hear screams and clash of metal yelling at her from every direction. It was terrifying, but she steeled herself. They almost reached the edge of the field when a few Saxon soldiers had spotted them. A knights came at them with an ax at hand, but Arthur easily deflected his attack and pushed him away. Another came at them with a sword. He was going to cut right through Merlyn, but Arthur blocked it as well and twisted the man's arm and used it to cut through the man himself.

"We have to get out of here! Fast!" Arthur screamed.

Merlyn let out a dry shallow laugh, "Really? Cause I thought we'd stay and enjoy ourselves a picnic."

"This is no time for jesting, Merlyn! Quick! Grab a sword or something. I can't protect you like this!" Just then Merlyn spotted an archer aiming at Arthur's head. She quickly used her magic to disrupt the tree next to him and dropped a large broken branch on top the man and knocked him out. She needed to start being more careful. It this kept up, someone would be bound to notice her abilities.

Since Arthur was too distracted looking after Merlyn, he didn't notice the man coming at him with a club. Merlyn saw him, but before she could react he struck the king. "No!" She screamed. She quickly grabbed a fallen sword and impaled the man before he could finish the job. She reached for her king and tried her best to lift him, but he was so heavy. "Damn it, Arthur! I told you to lay off the bloody chicken!" At least he wasn't completely out, once she got him to his feet, he managed to walk a bit. "But do you ever listen to me? No! Now look where we are now!" She got him into the woods. They were going to make it out scott free, but then she saw two mounted soldiers running after them. Thinking fast, she shoved Arthur behind a tree. It was big enough to hide them from the Saxon's view, but she knew that wouldn't shake them for long. So she looked over Arthur, made sure he was still out of it, then turned back and let her eyes turn gold.

Suddenly a snake came and snapped at one of the horses. It spooked them both and they set off running with their riders trying not fall of their backs. Without wasting another moment, she took Arthur by the waist and hoisted back to his feet. Thankfully the rest of their escape went uneventful. After several hours, Merlyn found a safe place under a small cliff for them to rest and got a fire going. She knew it was risky since someone could spot them by the light, but it was so cold out, she feared they'd freeze to death before anyone could find them. She couldn't find any food either. Everything from rabbits to berries were scarce in these parts of the forest and hard to come by. She'd be lucky to get squirrel by morning.

As nightfall set in Merlyn let her mind wander back to the ambush. It was a surprise that the Saxons were able to find them, especially considering Morgan couldn't have known they were traveling through Anni's homeland. She would have expected them to come through the east. However what she found more surprising was that she ran into Mordred. She had dreaded his return for all these years.

Merlyn had hoped she wouldn't have to cross paths with him again, but now that she had she didn't know how she felt about it. Kilgharrah had told her he was a risk to Arthur's safety. When he was a child she brushed off the warning, but now that he was a man and in light of her recent vision, his reappearance made her very uneasy. She knew what she had to do, should he pose a threat, but thought of it still tightened her chest. He hadn't done anything to make her believe he would harm her king. Even though he had been with the Saxons, he didn't take part in the battle. In fact, he tried to help her. Maybe she was being naive about this. Despite his actions, everything pointed to him killing Arthur one day. Perhaps not now, or even a year from now, but one day he would turn on him and bring his reign to an end. Which made her conflicted because her soul purpose was to ensure that didn't happen. Merlyn went back and forward with her thoughts until the moon was up high in the sky. Eventually her eyelids grew heavy and she drifted to sleep.

* * *

Merlyn woke to find Arthur's hand over her mouth and Morgana's men hovering over them on the cliff. Thanks to the bush and roots around them, she and Athur were left unnoticed, but they had to stay quiet. One peep and they would be done for. Several minutes passed and eventually the Saxons continued on, but the two remained still a bit longer till they knew they were out of ear shot.

"That was too close." Arthur muttered as he got to his feet.

Merlyn just nodded and trail on behind him, "You're telling me. We need to get out of these woods as quickly as possible and head back to Camelot."

"I'm not leaving my men, Merlyn." Arthur replied firmly. "I know you want us to regroup, but I can't abandon them out there."

"Arthur, be reasonable. We can come back! With greater force-"

"That's what we we're doing to begin with Merlyn! I won't risk anymore lives. I'm serious. The only reason any of my men are out here is due to my folly. What kind of king would I be if I returned without them?"

"Well, a live one for starters." She arched a brow.

"My decision is final. I'm going after them."

Merlyn opened her mouth to argue, but held her tongue. It was no use to argue once he made up his mind like this, so she nodded and let out an annoyed sigh, "Fine. Then we best get a move on then. We only have so many hours of daylight."

* * *

Luckily they hadn't ran into anymore Saxon's as the trekked through the cold woods, but now they had other concerns. They were in the middle of nowhere with no food, water, or transportation. They were screwed.

"If only we had a horse." Arthur sighed.

"Or a pig." Merlyn added.

"You can't ride a pig."

"No, but we could eat it. Roast it over a fire with carrots, parsnips, and apples-"

"Merlyn."

"You're right. that'd be a waste. The apples are much better suited for pie."

"Stop."

"I need to eat something, Arthur. I am starving!" She growled, she threw her hands up in frustration, then something caught her attention from the corner of her eye. "Wait a second... are those rabbits?"

Arthur looked up and saw the pile of dead game just sitting out in a clearing. It was odd to be sure and very suspicious looking. It was no doubt some sort of trap for the weak minded. Good thing he and Merlyn were- Wait a second, Merlyn was waltzing right up to it! He had to stop her! "Merlyn, what are you doing!? Don't touch those-"

Snap! Too late. As soon as she snatched them, she screamed and she found herself caught in a net up in a tree. "-rabbits. You just had to follow you stomach, didn't you?" Thankfully Arthur had been far enough that he didn't caught as well. Instead he smiled and laughed as he watched his friend struggle to escape.

She mocked his laughter, "Yeah, yeah. Quit laughing and help me get down from here! We don'y have time for this!" She snapped.

"I don't know, I'm thinking we should stay and hang around a while now." He smirked, "What do you say?"

"Arthur! I say cut me down now!" she tugged on the ropes, but it did nothing.

"Is that any way to speak to your king?" he ask, which only earned him a nasty glare from the young witch and a swinging fist.

"Get close enough and I would gladly show you the proper way I should speak to a bloody king. What happened to all that nonsense of chivalry you spout these days?"

"Fine, fine." The blond sighed and found the rope that was keeping her suspended in the air, "No need to get your knickers in a twist." He took his sword and cut her down. She fell with a short shout and a thud. which again, made Arthur laughed when she sat up with her messy long black hair covered in leaves and twigs.

She blew a strand out of her face and glared at the king. "Bloody twat." She curse under her breath.

"I heard that."

* * *

For the past several days Merlyn and Arthur had been walking on foot to reach Ismere. Long had they left the dense woods and now found themselves in a frozen wasteland. Snow was falling, food and shelter were scarce, and the wood was wet, so there was no chance to warm themselves or fight the cold. Thankfully they both at least had warm clothes, but that was only a small blessing. The only fortunate they had was the dead rabbits she found yesterday. She spent night drying them out over a steady fire before they started crossing the snow. It wasn't much but it would get them by till they find their men, or at least that's what they told themselves.

"Keep up Merlyn. It should only take us a day to make it to Ismere. If we keep it at this pace it'll take us a week."

"It would have only taken us a day if we had horses." She reminded, "Which we don't have. Also we're off to save fifty men in a castle filled with hundreds, with an army we also no longer have. Not to mention our lack of supplies-"

"Merlyn!" He snapped at her, but she held her ground.

"No! We should have gone back to Camelot!" She shouted. "We're not going to be able to save anyone if we keep going on like this! If the cold doesn't kill us, then our hunger surely will. Tell me Arthur, what good would we be to those men if we freeze and die out here first!"

"We're almost there!" He pressed, "If you would stop-"

"Oi! I hear something!" They heard someone shout from their left.

Arthur and Merlin immediately stopped their bickering and ran for closest cover they could find.

"I'm tellin' you John. Its just the one of the captives." Merlyn looked over and saw a man with a bushy grey beard and covered in furs rode into her view. Thankfully the snow bank they were behind was quite wide and tall, so they were completely hidden from the men. "You think anyone else in their right mind would be out here?"

Another man, this one was large and stocky rode up next to him. "I swear to the gods, if this is another false alarm, I'm gonna-"

"Enough. We're loosing daylight." Another deep voice spoke up and Merlyn recognized it immediately. "The Lady Morgana isn't known for her patience."


End file.
